Attention Facebookers!

Just a quick note.

There is now a Great American Pitchfest group on Facebook! Join now, or email me (bob@pitchfest.com) if you'd like an invite!

- Bob.

Resignation Letter From My Tivo

Dear Bob,

It is with a heavy heart and a reluctant dismay that I must tender my resignation to you effective immediately. Unfortunately, due to the quality of programming I am now forced to provide you, I an no longer in good conscience remain on the job.

Remember the glory days? Remember the moment of joy when we first laughed at AJ Soprano saying, "What? No f*cking ziti now?" Remember when we shared Arrested Development every week? How about when I saved the 2004 Red Sox World Series for you so you could relive the joy whenever things got you down?

Alas, remember 30 Rock?

This season's premature departure of the brilliant 30 Rock is too devastating a blow for me to endure.I know you feel the same. I know this is the first fan-pain the strike has truly brought you. I hate to abandon you now, but if I'm ever going to look myself in the mirror, I can't be party to recording the latest episode of So You Think You Can Recite Pi To 100 Places or Are You Smarter Than A Coma Patient?

When we lost Buffy The Vampire Slayer, it was difficult, but there was closure. Likewise, Gilmore Girls. But 30 Rock (the best written comedy on TV) is too much to endure... and I just can't face the horror of losing The Wire (the best written drama on TV) forever. It is for these reasons that I must resign.

It has been a privilege to record these shows for you, and hope that when the writers return to work that you will consider re-employing me.

Sincerely,
Tivo.

A Sticky Solution

More from Signe!

I have the worst timing.

few months ago, after struggling with a script deadline, I actually took the belt off my jeans and physically strapped myself to the chair. And then it hit me. I’d just invented something. Something really important that writers and corporations with lackadaisical staff needed everywhere. Bum Glue. Soon to be a household name.

BUT, instead of then working on my script, I started googling for ‘seat belt fasteners’ and fabric ties to make the belts. An hour passed. I searched the word, ‘bum glue’. And ‘bum wrap’. This was going to be HUGE!

Two hours later, I was on the phone pitching it to my colleagues. Did it work? Absolutely. But by now I’d added a timing device so you could set a time for how long you kept yourself fastened to the chair. Only 55 cents each from that place I found on ebay. With the belt and the buckle, add some printing, the timer, and the packaging – all in, my bum glue belts could retail for $12.95. I thought my invention was complete. I talked to Jesse at the Writer’s Store – how many did he want to order? Red, blue, or black? His response: "Bum glue. So it’s an adhesive made from ground up street people?"

Apparently the word ‘bum’ is a British word, used more in Canada and Europe than in the US. So, as a ‘Canadian in America’, I am now bent on making ‘bum glue’ an American household name. Sigh. I carry such a heavy burden. By the way, patent pending.

So here I am, inventing a product for writers – mere days before the Writers Strike. Exactly the worst timing. Just when writers are getting their bums out of the chairs and into the picket lines, I come up with the idea of bum glue.

Maybe I’d better get back to that script after all.